January 22, 2015: “Let Me OUT!”

I walked into my happy place today, by happy place I mean Barnes and Noble.  I proceeded to purchase one book and one magazine.  The magazine was Cycling Fitness, featuring winter workouts, winter gear etc.  There was one problem it was geared toward getting outside for the workouts.  In the winter here that is not a reasonable nor a safe option.  I looked at the pictures, the workouts and realized I have pretty bad cabin fever.  I have not been out on my bike since last year.

My bike work has been in the box I call my gym.  There is nothing more boring and demotivating than plugging away on a machine going nowhere.  I usually find a reason to cut my session short and move onto something else.  I know building the base for a couple months down the road is important especially if I wish to compete.  I just hate how stuck it makes me feel. 

I would make a good looking pro or atleast pic in a magazine

Todays photo was meant to reinvigorate me or atleast make me see what I am able to become.  I have slowly started to make changes in my diet.  Getting a healthy gym routine which I had before sickness and injury is paramount.  My neck feels about 75% and I think I should be able to start putting up lighter weights. My setbacks seem to last a week or so longer than they should. 

I had a vision to create a dark setup with a strobe to get the idea of motion.  In pedaling on the bike I was moving far too much and as opposed to motion it looked like I had multiple heads.  I could have really added the motion with a backlit strobe but wanted it to remain darker so I used a single flash with an orange filter and a 5 second exposure.  The flash was on the ground aimed upward to create the shadows and look letting myself blend into the black background.  I hope you enjoy and draw a little sliver out of this image.  Be yourself, be great, be dreamy

January 14, 2015: “Counting Sheep”

The first two days of this week I have had long days.  Up at 5:30 am and in bed around 12:45 am.  I get very worried sleeping less than 7 hours a night.  Surviving one night is ok but multiple days in a row can trigger extremely horrible headaches.  I have been hyper sensitive to make sure every part of my life is going to offset the lack of sleep.  Balance is crucial to my heath, I was able to have better nutrition, more snacks and staying hydrated.  My focus was off for sure, memory was a bit fuzzy that is what lack of sleep does for me.  Overall my productivity drops and there was nothing I could do about it. 

Today to regain my life I came home counted some sheep and took a refreshing nap.  I had to force myself to wake up so not to have a sleepless night.  This photo or something similar has been in my mind for a while.  A few years ago I caught I migraine as it was coming on.  This is a similar type photo but much more calm.  I took this photo immediately after waking up, so it is as real as I can get, in state between full consciousness. 

Health is the key to my life and to me that means balance with healthy eating, exercise, sleep, hydration and most importantly work life balance.  Everyday in this fast paced world slowing down is the only the way not miss out on creating that life you want.  It starts with health and to me sleep is the most crucial so I take alot of naps to balance out the stressors.  Namaste

January 10, 2015: “Not Quite Food Porn”

Breakfast is the most important part of the day, a healthy breakfast starts the day off right and gives you energy.  Today I made an organic steel cut oatmeal with organic blueberries and raspberries.  As always I had a strong Irish Breakfast Tea for a little punch. 

ignore the bad photoshopping in the left corner

That was a good breakfast along with a banana.  This photo came about because I was going to be gone all day and into the evening.  I had no particular thought for a photo and felt that I would be cutting myself short and unable to capture something worthwhile.  Tada todays photo is not quite food porn.  I called it this because I lack plating quality and don’t understand the style to create those catalog type food images. 

My teacup says evolve and grow.  As I work more with smaller things and lighting only good things can come.  I can evolve and grow.  My photography will evolve and grow.  My health will evolve and grow.  It is the only thing in life we can continually do to create a better tomorrow evolve and grow.   

January 5, 2015: “Where is my Vision? (Moving Forward)

I wanted to share a piece of myself.  I thoroughly enjoy yoga, its therapeutic and spiritual elements.  Yoga and meditation allows me to focus myself, this Monday series for January is called where is my vision?  Today for a few moments I was able to focus my vision on moving forward. That is all I can hope for myself and you.  Take each day on its own, live in the present and create contentment.  Live life with a loving kindness, compassion for others while taking care of yourself.  Today’s tree pose is great at creating focus. 

I hope you enjoy!!! 

Namaste

Photoblog of the Day 2015: "Where I am now"

Today is a new day, just as tomorrow will be and the next and so forth.  I am starting a project just to take a photo daily, January is going to be the month of reflection and truly exploring who I am.  I’ve lost something got bogged down and stuck, everything feels stale, old and pointless.  In this project as well as in life growth matters.  As I continue my journey I feel that growth has halted.  I hope this kicks new life into me.

January 1, 2015: “Where I am today”

Today I am somewhere intertwined between a handful of solitary passions and a life filled with disappointment.  I framed this photo between my books and my bike they are my passions, my security blankets.  I can be free on my bike and you will never see me without a book in my bag or hand.  I am dependent on these things for happiness.  They bring it temporarily but I am left struggling and out of control when not focused on them. 

I sabotage myself and remain stuck.  I need to overcome today for a better tomorrow.  Looking inside I can only heal myself and push forward.  Only I can and that’s the part that creates fear. 

This photo shows where I am today.

Reflections: Self Worth

In my life I have often found myself questioning my worth and asking the question does anyone care about me? The answer is yes my family cares and that’s what I always thought.  I think about death whats beyond and have pictured my funeral without a single person there.  I never felt like I had any friends who cared, who wanted to get to know me or even notice if I disappeared. 

One of my favorite books is “The Five People You Meet in Heaven” by Mitch Albom.  I’ve often felt like the main character that my life was worthless.  I have not had to take his journey to find the value in my life.  It has been hard but I’ve started to build a life to be proud of.  If your reading this and know me at all, you only see the strong, confident side of me.  If you were to ask me what I think about myself I’ll give you an analysis that is harsh and focuses on my faults rather than any strength.  I even have trouble taking a compliment and will demean myself at those moments.

I’ve come to the realization that my life is not worthless.  Life’s actions no matter how small create a domino effect upon our friends and strangers.  That’s something I have been reminded of in the past day.  As a photographer I capture memories that people will have forever.  In some aspect whether I am remembered or not I will be in strangers lives forever. 

I never thought that my life would matter but two people made my heart warm and soul feel alive.  My goal is to help people to grow and develop into amazing people.  I have a friend whom I expect the world of and want to see her grow into a successful woman.  Last night she wrote me expressing her gratitude for the help and support I have given her in her life.  I guess I’m a teacher and a guide in some way.  It’s not something I strived for but just happened.

In photography I’m building confidence and trust in my craft.  The support I get from my clients and my friends is simply amazing.  I’ve found a craft that others respect and trust me with.  Finding my worth and value through others has been a long trip.  I now realize that I need to live the best life I can; be healthy, be strong, be a friend, be a teacher, be kind and set an example for others because I don’t know who is watching and how my actions will make an impact in this world.

We should all take a moment to live with the whole world in mind.  Act more lovingly, more selflessly, more kind without judgement.  That can create the change we want to see.  Give more hugs, smile more and celebrate your value and uniqueness in this great big world.  Remember to love everybody.

Reflections: Progression

Today is a bittersweet day, as I sit here I think about how I broke through some physical barriers this morning, then I come to the realization that in a few hours I’ll be a at a remembrance for my 21 year old cousin Thom who passed away last week.

Two extremes in one day and the melancholy is filling my heart right now.  My breakthrough this morning was wholly physical.  Just over a month ago I joined a “box” which is the term for a crossfit gym here in Lockport.  It is called Crossfit HOD.  My reasons for joining were mainly offseason cycling training and to work on my core and shoulder strength.  I walked in day one knowing I was going to be able to do any exercise put before me, maybe not that first time but eventually I would grow and develop the movements, the strength and mind to push myself where I needed to be.  Today was the breakthrough day where I took the jump.

Before the workout I asked Zach the trainer if he thought I could “RX” it.  RX is a term to complete the full workout without scaling any movements.  Today’s workout was a crossfit benchmark workout called “Helen”.  Complete 3 rounds for time;  run 400 meters, 21 kettlebell swings 53lbs, and 12 pullups.  I could have taken the easy way out and have completed 35lb swings and strap pullups, believe me that was my first thought.  Until today I had never completed a pullup or a 53lb swing in a workout.  Naturally I had worked on them and knew I would not have too much trouble with the swing, just had to do 2 to 3 sets each time.

Where I encountered the issue was whether not I could complete the 36 total required pullups.  I broke them up into sets of 2 and 3.  By my last round it was a few sets of 1.  I never gave in and finished Helen my first benchmark workout in 16:43.  Is it a good time, is it a bad time, did I finish first, did I finish last? I don’t know and don’t really care.  What these workouts are for me is a place to grow and build myself to be successful in life. 

Post RX and ride selfie

Relaxed enough at 30mph to take a picture

I was on cloud nine after the workout and had to bike another 15 miles home to get a total of 30 miles.  The clouds were turning the wind was picking up and I hated life.  I hate wind, wind is my biggest enemy in life.  I started out very apprehensive as I had to cross transit rd.  Riding in heavy traffic scares me but I got to the light and on route 93.  I looked down, I was going a respectable 17mph for the first 4 or so miles.  Then something clicked I don’t know what but I pushed a little harder, then harder next thing I know I was gliding along at 30mph on a straight away  for about a mile which is absolutely unheard of for me and in fact I barely get up to that speed when sprinting.  For a few miles I kept my pace between 24 -28mph.  I hit the downhill shortly after at about 41mph which could have been faster if I wasn’t being safe because of the wind.  Then for the remaining miles I kept the pace between 20 – 23mph.  This is a huge breakthrough because I didn’t feel like I was hitting a wall my mind didn’t tell me to quit, it said focus on each stroke its only 7,6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 more mile to go.  I do sprints and time trials on my own and struggle to keep any pace like this for 10 to 20 miles.  Today I carried it for 15 miles and I wasn’t racing anyone, I was able to think and enjoy the ride and blow my normal pacing out of the water. 

 Physically I am in an amazing place, mentally I am good but need more motivation outside of the gym to make the career change.  I made a few amazing breakthroughs that I can directly attribute to crossfit, but my next breakthrough needs to be so I can have the life I want to live.  The mindset I have been developing is making me a stronger and more motivated individual, despite this I have so much more to learn to develop and grow throughout my journey on this earth.

Ride stats from strava a pretty awesome app