Reflections: Self Worth

In my life I have often found myself questioning my worth and asking the question does anyone care about me? The answer is yes my family cares and that’s what I always thought.  I think about death whats beyond and have pictured my funeral without a single person there.  I never felt like I had any friends who cared, who wanted to get to know me or even notice if I disappeared. 

One of my favorite books is “The Five People You Meet in Heaven” by Mitch Albom.  I’ve often felt like the main character that my life was worthless.  I have not had to take his journey to find the value in my life.  It has been hard but I’ve started to build a life to be proud of.  If your reading this and know me at all, you only see the strong, confident side of me.  If you were to ask me what I think about myself I’ll give you an analysis that is harsh and focuses on my faults rather than any strength.  I even have trouble taking a compliment and will demean myself at those moments.

I’ve come to the realization that my life is not worthless.  Life’s actions no matter how small create a domino effect upon our friends and strangers.  That’s something I have been reminded of in the past day.  As a photographer I capture memories that people will have forever.  In some aspect whether I am remembered or not I will be in strangers lives forever. 

I never thought that my life would matter but two people made my heart warm and soul feel alive.  My goal is to help people to grow and develop into amazing people.  I have a friend whom I expect the world of and want to see her grow into a successful woman.  Last night she wrote me expressing her gratitude for the help and support I have given her in her life.  I guess I’m a teacher and a guide in some way.  It’s not something I strived for but just happened.

In photography I’m building confidence and trust in my craft.  The support I get from my clients and my friends is simply amazing.  I’ve found a craft that others respect and trust me with.  Finding my worth and value through others has been a long trip.  I now realize that I need to live the best life I can; be healthy, be strong, be a friend, be a teacher, be kind and set an example for others because I don’t know who is watching and how my actions will make an impact in this world.

We should all take a moment to live with the whole world in mind.  Act more lovingly, more selflessly, more kind without judgement.  That can create the change we want to see.  Give more hugs, smile more and celebrate your value and uniqueness in this great big world.  Remember to love everybody.