January 14, 2015: “Counting Sheep”

The first two days of this week I have had long days.  Up at 5:30 am and in bed around 12:45 am.  I get very worried sleeping less than 7 hours a night.  Surviving one night is ok but multiple days in a row can trigger extremely horrible headaches.  I have been hyper sensitive to make sure every part of my life is going to offset the lack of sleep.  Balance is crucial to my heath, I was able to have better nutrition, more snacks and staying hydrated.  My focus was off for sure, memory was a bit fuzzy that is what lack of sleep does for me.  Overall my productivity drops and there was nothing I could do about it. 

Today to regain my life I came home counted some sheep and took a refreshing nap.  I had to force myself to wake up so not to have a sleepless night.  This photo or something similar has been in my mind for a while.  A few years ago I caught I migraine as it was coming on.  This is a similar type photo but much more calm.  I took this photo immediately after waking up, so it is as real as I can get, in state between full consciousness. 

Health is the key to my life and to me that means balance with healthy eating, exercise, sleep, hydration and most importantly work life balance.  Everyday in this fast paced world slowing down is the only the way not miss out on creating that life you want.  It starts with health and to me sleep is the most crucial so I take alot of naps to balance out the stressors.  Namaste

January 13, 2015: “Shadows”

One picture, one photo, one thought.  I’ve had a thought about lights in the darkness, but today I shot lights in the light and created darkness.  The thing I love about photography is creating the image unseen.  Everyone seems to say oh that camera takes great pictures.  No I’m sorry I can give you this camera and you can make it all wrong.  This photo is what I wanted to see a completely bright room which I stole the soul from the ambient light.  Simply by making the proper adjustments on my dial.

I hope you look at this photo and construct a thought in your mind.  Analyze it where did the light go, whys there so much darkness in the light.

January 12, 2015: “For the Love of Dogs”

Such a poser

Animals are the ultimate in loyal companions.  They are truly your best friends through thick and thin.  Today I got to play with 2 adorable doggies Luna the shepherd and Gema the retriever.  Could they be any more precious, just look at these photos. 

Gema, Luna Sisters

Take my picture

There is an innocence that animals possess and carry throughout their lives.  We expect them to grow and stop destroying things from the time they are puppies, be there when we do not want human companions.  I want to write so much more, but my only thought is love.  There is something pure, they do not worry, only need love and attention.  They are there to comfort and stand strong along our sides.

Play time

I'm going to chew it to death

No matter what breed of dog you have they all possess so much love.  Give them the unconditional love that they give you.  Everyday we see stories of dogs walking miles to find their owner, waiting years to see their owner come back from the military. Loyal and lovable.

Gema chasing Luna and the ball

Gema catch Gema

Stranger no danger

I met a dog along my walk today, never got to his name but he followed me brushed against my legs and let me pet him.  When he got bored he walked back to his owner.  I always go along with a dogs intuition they seem to be able to sense those who are good and give immeasurable amounts of love.  Dogs are awesome!!!!!!!

January 11, 2015: “Holding Onto my Soul”

Lacking inspiration, I put my face to my camera and through the eyepiece I felt calm.  No idea for the photo and then I looked at a few of my books.  The books that guide my journey through this world.  When I need calm on a stormy day, I can turn to the Buddhist principles.  I look for kindness and love in this world.  I create my own for those around me. 

My only problem is I do this in waves, I always have one book in my bag but do not always practice.  The ultimate way I find peace is through meditation.  Sitting in peace creating an inner focus I am able to let things go, move forward and put aside fear.   I lack the solid practice to keep the contentment and hope for the future I find within the books.

With guides like thich nhat hanh, the dalai lama, and jack kerouac I know I can straighten my ship and gather my focus.  This peaceful photo came from lack of focus.  My current state in this project is a daily focus.

January 10, 2015: “Not Quite Food Porn”

Breakfast is the most important part of the day, a healthy breakfast starts the day off right and gives you energy.  Today I made an organic steel cut oatmeal with organic blueberries and raspberries.  As always I had a strong Irish Breakfast Tea for a little punch. 

ignore the bad photoshopping in the left corner

That was a good breakfast along with a banana.  This photo came about because I was going to be gone all day and into the evening.  I had no particular thought for a photo and felt that I would be cutting myself short and unable to capture something worthwhile.  Tada todays photo is not quite food porn.  I called it this because I lack plating quality and don’t understand the style to create those catalog type food images. 

My teacup says evolve and grow.  As I work more with smaller things and lighting only good things can come.  I can evolve and grow.  My photography will evolve and grow.  My health will evolve and grow.  It is the only thing in life we can continually do to create a better tomorrow evolve and grow.   

January 9, 2015: “Windblown”

Watching the wind fiercely blow the snow

12 degrees, 20 mile per hour wind gusts, snow shooting everywhere. I begin to chase beauty, using the wind to my advantage, watching nature exert amazing strength on a wintry day.  Watching I slowly succumb to nature while trying to get an amazing shot.  Holed up trying to make it till sunset.  The wind keeps blowing, stopping with no rhyme or reason.  I am wearing 2 layers of pants, 3 layers of shirts, a facemask, wool socks, boots and gloves with fingertip holes.  I have to have complete control of my camera, the ability to change functions and capture the perfect shot.   After about 5 minutes the feeling is gone in my fingers. I look down the blowing snow is on my fingertips and sharp pain pierces though. 

An occasional break in the wind as the sun goes down

I had gotten a few shots but was unable to make it till sunset another 15 minutes.  I covered my fingers walked to my car.  The pain pierced like needles, I sat there the heat on waiting for the pain to go away.   At some point it did, I felt amazingly alive just the one fool to be outside trying to get something done create something for myself. 

Beautiful snow being blown

Capturing a snowfilled image means more to me than just the picture.  It is about this project and creating something new everyday, moving forward and following through.  I was windblown, cold an to some extent frozen yet it was the happiest I was all day.  Being outside is where I need to be whether cold or warm I need to be me.

January 8, 2015: “Fear of Exposing Myself”

I hide my life, hide myself, censor what you know about me.  Today you can look at me raw at point where I am not happy.  Not happy physically, professionally, romantically and monetarily.  I am content with life, with what I have created.  There is always room for growth and putting myself first.  Creating the change I wish to see in myself, to see in the world is possible.  I just need to face reality by starting t follow through and become the man I wish to be.

Now I look at myself exposed both physically and mentally.  I am nowhere near as healthy as I should be, I make reasons to have a soda, potato chips and little Debbie snacks amongst other things.  Since August of 2013 my weight has ballooned from 175 to 205lbs.  This happened initially from 2004 to 2006 I went from 175 to 220lbs.  I dedicated myself and was able to change my lifestyle fully and along with cycling and fitness drop to 165 during my best riding days.  

Today it feels so much harder, I’m a young 32 at the gym 3 times or more a week cycling 2500 miles a year, practicing yoga and being generally active.  In continuing that I have been gaining weight, feeling sluggish and have been stuck in a rut professionally.  Where do I go? How do I get there?  As ridiculous as it sounds at 32 I don’t feel young anymore.  I have hit a wall…at some point I will break on through, I have to break on through. This is me exposed to the world.  I know alot of you will not understand but I did this to truly look at myself.

I hope at some point to recreate this image not to show I have lost weight, but to show I have become physically and mentally happy.  I hope this gives you a bit of insight into who I am.