April 5, 2015: “Hopeless”
Feelings are strange thing we can go from happy to hopeless in matter of seconds, from sad to jubilant. There are millions of microemotions that can be seen across us all. I woke up today Easter a holiday went to work, worked, went grocery shopping and came home. I ran gamut of emotions today to where I sit content and balanced. Most of the day did not go that way.
Most of the day I was stressed, I was angry, I had feelinglings (fyi it was a typo but I kind of like the extra lings) of hopelessness. It all stemmed from where I am in life and how I have failed myself in my career endeavors. Wasted my education never got that job I wanted which I am not even sure what it is. Stuck, simply stuck in a state of hopelessness working today. No family celebrations just catering to corporate greed. Local and non essential businesses shutdown, they enjoy their holidays and still respect values that are people based not profit based. That is why I feel hopeless, for my self failures and for humanity which is increasingly controlled by business, increasingly dependent on business to survive.
I’m a hopeless wanderer stuck, if I didn’t feel responsibility I would never look back pack my bags and bike across this country and the planet earth taking in all that is great. I’m hopeless wandering on a path for enlightenment for understanding trying to figure out why money matters so much. Shouldn’t we just have hope to survive and only covet our basic needs. I’m hopeless in so many ways.